ok everyone... it's behind a cut... could be triggering since i talk about specific foods....


i'm fasting... Yesterday was the 21st Birthday so I was treated to lunch and dinner and drinks... I couldn't get out of it. I know my mom wanted to spend time with me and my friends wanted to take me out for drinks... I couldnt say no... I had a tomatoe salad w/ a roll at lunch which was good.. split it with my mom so i wasnt too worried.. but then my mom had ordered this eggplant parmisian sandwich which she knows I looooovvvveee from this little resturant near our house. It's owned by these cute Italian guys...and the food is amazing... so my mom just ordered it knowing i would have to have some of it... It was HUGE!! its friend Eggplant, marinara sauces and Mozzerella cheese on a hogie style roll.....sooo many calories!!!!......and then that night I went to Don Pabloes for drinks with my girlfriends.....I did only get an appetizer with my drinks that night.. but i drank enough for an army..and then stole some bites of the Ice cream they ordered!! (At least they didnt sing to me in public!)

... the b-day is over & the fast has begun again.. I am sooo tempted to order Domino's pizza right now... I want the deep dish pizza & wings... but i'm not doing it.. I wont do it... so far I've had water and diet pepsi... going strong...(aka since this morning which is only 8hrs.. how pathetic...) Diet soda helps fill me up better than coffee.... but i know its bad for u... We never had soda in my house when i was young and my uncle is a dentist so I was kinda taught that ALL SODA is bad... so i feel guilty drinking it even though its zero cals... but its better than being fat right?? I'll just be extra good about my dental hygene.....

I am struglling though.. but i am determined to do it... Its so hard when u have been binging to not stay in that cycle.. but I'm not going to binge.. My weight is tooooooo high! I do not need food. I need support.... not going to eat....seeing the number on the scale are their own reward right???

I am going to see my extended family at the end of the month and I will not eat until then.... I'm bigger than I was last time they saw me.. I dont wanna be the fat girl in the family... I wanna keep my role as the skinny dancer cousin...

goodness.. sorry that this is rambly everyone, I just need to vent and have someone to chat with about fasting...

Think thin girls!

AIM me anytime: Sparkles717dnc